The Power of Discomfort: What 10 Days of Silence Taught Me
Every year, I voluntarily disappear for 10 days.
No phone.
No talking.
No music.
No books.
No distractions.
Just silence.
And every year, people ask me the same question:
“Why would anyone do that?”
Honestly, somewhere around day three, I ask myself the same thing.
Below is my timetable if you are keen to follow my daily schedule:
It’s a rather uncomfortable experience.
But year after year, I keep going back because these retreats taught me something I believe is deeply missing from modern life:
The quality of our lives depends on our ability to stay with discomfort.
Recently, I shared this idea in my TEDx talk at TEDx Shanghai SMIC Private School:
“The Power of Discomfort.”
Here is what I share:
We Live in a World Designed to Remove Discomfort
Today, almost every uncomfortable moment can be escaped instantly.
If we feel bored, we scroll.
If we feel uncertain, we distract ourselves.
If a conversation feels difficult, we postpone it.
If anxiety appears, we fill the silence with noise.
Modern life gives us endless tools to avoid discomfort. But avoidance comes with a hidden cost:
we slowly lose our capacity to sit with difficult emotions, uncertainty, pressure, or pain.
And yet, discomfort is part of being human.
Waiting.
Failure.
Rejection.
Conflict.
Loneliness.
Uncertainty.
Change.
These experiences are unavoidable.
The real question is not:
“How do we eliminate discomfort?”
The real question is:
“How do we build a healthier relationship with it?”
During these silent retreats, I meditate for nearly 10 hours a day. At first, it feels deeply uncomfortable. Your body hurts. Your mind races. Every instinct wants to escape.
But over time, I realized something important:
Discomfort itself is not the problem.
Our reaction to it is.
Most of us automatically react to discomfort by:
- Escaping
- Resisting
- Suppressing
- Reacting emotionally
- Freezing
And the more we react automatically, the more we “shake the snow globe” of our minds.
Meditation taught me something simpler:
- Observe first.
- React second.
Because clarity rarely comes from panic or urgency.
It comes when we let the snow settle.
This doesn’t only apply to meditation retreats.
It applies to difficult conversations.
Pressure at work.
Uncertainty.
Change.
Loss.
Leadership.
Staying with discomfort is a skill.
And like any skill, it can be practiced.
A cold shower.
An uncomfortable conversation.
Waiting before checking your phone.
Pausing before reacting emotionally.
Small moments become training for bigger moments in life.
As writer James Baldwin once said:
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
🎥 Watch the full TEDx talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25c0UBWZckI
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